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Citizen in Spase. Stories / Гражданин в Космосе. Рассказы. Книга для чтения на английском языке
Robert Sheckley


Чтение в оригинале (Каро)Modern Prose
Предлагаем вниманию читателей сборник рассказов знаменитого американского фантаста Р. Шекли, мастера короткого рассказа, произведения которого отличают изящный парадоксальный юмор, лихо закрученный сюжет и неожиданная ударная концовка.

Неадаптированный текст снабжен подробными комментариями и словарем. Книга предназначена для студентов языковых вузов и всех любителей англоязычной литературы.





Роберт Шекли / Robert Sheckley

Citizen in Spase. Stories / Гражданин в Космосе. Рассказы. Книга для чтения на английском языке








В© РљРђР Рћ, 2010





Об авторе


Роберт Шекли, один из популярнейших в России писателей-фантастов, родился в 1928 году в Бруклине (Нью-Йорк). После службы в армии в Корее учился в техническом колледже, а по окончании учебы пошел работать на металлургический завод.

С 1951 года Шекли начинает профессиональную деятельность писателя. Неудивительно, что, будучи поклонником Брэдбери и Каттнера, он стал писать полные юмора фантастические рассказы. Первые же публикации в научно-фантастических журналах принесли ему любовь читателей и большую заинтересованность издательств в его творчестве. «Я куплю все, что вы напишете, потому что я продам все, что вы напишете», – как-то сказал ему один из издателей. По словам Шекли, это были самые счастливые годы в его жизни. Он снимал маленькую квартирку в тихом центре Нью-Йорка, сочинял по несколько рассказов в неделю, сам печатал их на машинке и развозил по редакциям.

В 1954 году Шекли стал лауреатом премии «Лучший дебют» – престижной премии в области фантастики. Маститые коллеги по перу и критики признали его лучшим фантастом 1950–1960-х годов.

Впоследствии Шекли, следуя требованиям рынка, пробует себя и в больших литературных формах, – не столь успешно в не столь любимом для себя жанре. Его перу принадлежат также несколько детективных рассказов, написанные, в основном, под псевдонимами.

Одно из самых известных, любимых читателями и наиболее высоко отмеченных критиками крупных произведений Шекли – повесть «Координаты чудес» (1968) – о Томе Кармоди, первом и единственном из землян, кто вследствие ошибки интергалактического компьютера выиграл в галактической лотерее приз. На обратном пути из Галактического центра на Землю Кармоди ждут невероятные встречи – со всевозможными богами, которые помогают ему по мере сил, в обмен прося у него – обычного человека – помощи в решении проблем божественных. В этой повести проявились неисчерпаемая фантазия Шекли, уникальная философия, он представил оригинальные версии создания мира и науки и поиска смысла жизни, переосмыслил понятия добра и зла.

Несмотря на то что произведения Шекли постоянно публиковались, его известность на родине не была особенно широка, зато он приобрел необычайную популярность в СССР – в те годы самой читающей стране в мире. Во времена «железного занавеса» любая переводная литература воспринималась читающей публикой как глоток свободы, а фирменный стиль Шекли – яркий интригующий сюжет, подчас парадоксальный юмор и неожиданная ударная концовка – способствовал его славе. В конце 1990-х годов в Петербурге ему вручили премию «Странник» за сатиру в научной фантастике.

Весной 2005 года Шекли поехал на Украину для участия в литературном конвенте «Портал». Вследствие простуды и усталости он заболел, так и не смог оправиться от болезни и 9 декабря того же года скончался после неудачно проведенной операции в городе Покипси, штат Нью-Йорк.




The Mountain Without a Name


When Morrison left headquarters tent, Dengue the observer was asleep with his mouth open, sprawled loosely in a canvas chair. Morrison took care not to awaken him. He had enough trouble on his hands.

He had to see a deputation of natives, the same idiots who had been drumming from the cliffs. And then he had to supervise the destruction of the mountain without a name. His assistant, Ed Lerner, was there now. But first, he had to check the most recent accident.

It was noon when he walked through the work camp, and the men were taking their lunch break, leaning against their gigantic machines as they ate sandwiches and sipped coffee. It looked normal enough, but Morrison had been bossing planetary construction long enough to know the bad signs. No one kidded him, no one griped. They simply sat on the dusty ground in the shade of their big machines, waiting for something else to happen.

A big Owens Landmover had been damaged this time. It sagged on its broken axle where the wrecking gang had left it. The two drivers were sitting in the cab, waiting for him.

“How did it happen?” Morrison asked.

“I don’t know,” the chief driver said, wiping perspiration from his eyes. “Felt the road lift out. Spun sideways, sorta.”

Morrison grunted and kicked the Owens’ gigantic front wheel. A Landmover could drop twenty feet onto rock and come up without a scratched fender. They were the toughest machines built. Five of his were out of commission now.

“Nothing’s going right on this job,” the assistant driver said, as though that explained everything.

“You’re getting careless,” Morrison said. “You can’t wheel that rig like you were on Earth. How fast were you going?”

“We were doing fifteen miles an hour,” the chief driver said.

“Sure you were,” Morrison said.

“It’s the truth! The road sorta dropped out —”

“Yeah,” Morrison said. “When will you guys get it through your thick skulls you aren’t driving the Indianapolis speedway. I’m docking you both a half-day’s wages.[1 - I’m docking you both a half-day’s wages. – Я вычту у вас из зарплаты за половину смены.]”

He turned and walked away. They were angry at him now. Good enough, if it helped take their superstitious minds off the planet.

He was starting toward the mountain without a name when the radio operator leaned out of his shack and called, “For you, Morrie. Earth.”

Morrison took the call. At full amplification he could just recognize the voice of Mr. Shotwell, chairman of the board of Transterran Steel. He was saying, “What’s holding things up?”

“Accidents,” Morrison said.

“More accidents?”

“I’m afraid so, sir.”

There was a moment’s silence. Mr. Shotwell said, “But why, Morrison? It’s a soft planet on the specs[2 - specs = specifications – спецификация, технические условия]. Isn’t it?”

“Yes sir,” Morrison admitted unwillingly. “We’ve had a run of bad luck. But we’ll roll.[3 - But we’ll roll. – Но мы справимся.]”

“I hope so,” Mr. Shotwell said. “I certainly hope so. You’ve been there nearly a month, and you haven’t built a single city, or port, or even a highway! Our first advertisements have appeared. Inquiries are rolling in. There are people who want to settle there, Morrison! Businesses and service industries to move in.”

“I know that, sir.”

“I’m sure you do. But they require a finished planet, and they need definite moving dates. If we can’t give it to them, General Construction can, or Earth-Mars, or Johnson and Hearn. Planets aren’t that scarce. You understand that, don’t you?”

Morrison’s temper had been uncertain since the accidents had started. Now it flared suddenly. He shouted, “What in hell do you want out of me? Do you think I’m stalling? You can take your lousy contract and —”

“Now, now,” Mr. Shotwell said hurriedly. “I didn’t mean anything personally, Morrison. We believe – we know – that you’re the best man in planetary construction. But the stockholders —”

“I’ll do the best I can,” Morrison said, and signed off.

“Rough, rough,” the radio operator murmured. “Maybe the stockholders would like to come out here with their little shovels?”

“Forget it,” Morrison said, and hurried off.

Lerner was waiting for him at Control Point Able, gazing somberly at the mountain. It was taller than Everest on Earth, and the snow on its upper ranges glowed pink in the afternoon sun. It had never been named.

“Charges all planted?” Morrison asked.

“Another few hours.” Lerner hesitated. Aside from being Morrison’s assistant, he was an amateur conservationist, a small, careful, graying man.

“It’s the tallest mountain on the planet,” Lerner said. “Couldn’t you save it?”

“Not a chance. This is the key location. We need an ocean port right here.”

Lerner nodded, and looked regretfully at the mountain. “It’s a real pity. No one’s ever climbed it.”

Morrison turned quickly and glared at his assistant. “Look, Lerner,” he said. “I am aware that no one has ever climbed that mountain. I recognize the symbolism inherent in destroying that mountain. But you know as well as I do that it has to go. Why rub it in?[4 - Why rub it in? – Зачем постоянно к этому возвращаться?]”

“I wasn’t —”

“My job isn’t to admire scenery. I hate scenery. My job is to convert this place to the specialized needs of human beings.”

“You’re pretty jumpy,” Lerner said.

“Just don’t give me any more of your sly innuendoes.”

“All right.”

Morrison wiped his sweaty hands against his pants leg. He smiled faintly, apologetically, and said, “Let’s get back to camp and see what that damned Dengue is up to.”

They turned and walked away. Glancing back, Lerner saw the mountain without a name outlined red against the sky.

Even the planet was nameless. Its small native population called it Umgcha or Ongja, but that didn’t matter. It would have no ofifcial name until the advertising staff of Transterran Steel figured out something semantically pleasing to several million potential settlers from the crowded inner planets. In the meantime, it was simply referred to as Work Order 35. Several thousand men and machines were on the planet, and at Morrison’s order they would fan out, destroy mountains, build up plains, shift whole forests, redirect rivers, melt ice caps, mold continents, dig new seas, do everything to make Work Order 35 another suitable home for homo sapiens’ unique and demanding technological civilization.

Dozens of planets had been rearranged to the terran standard. Work Order 35 should have presented no unusual problems. It was a quiet place of gentle fields and forests, warm seas and rolling hills. But something was wrong with the tamed land. Accidents happened, past all statistical probability, and a nervous camp chain-reacted to produce more. Everyone helped. There were fights between bulldozer men and explosions men. A cook had hysterics over a tub of mashed potatoes, and the bookkeeper’s spaniel bit the accountant’s ankle. Little things led to big things.

And the job – a simple job on an uncomplicated planet – had barely begun.

In headquarters tent Dengue was awake, squinting judiciously at a whiskey and soda.

“What ho?” he called. “How goes the good work?”

“Fine,” Morrison said.

“Glad to hear it,” Dengue said emphatically. “I like watching you lads work. Efifciency. Sureness of touch. Know-how.”

Morrison had no jurisdiction over the man or his tongue. The government construction code stipulated that observers from other companies could be present at all projects. This was designed to reinforce the courts’ “method-sharing” decision in planetary construction. But practically, the observer looked, not for improved methods, but for hidden weaknesses which his own company could exploit. And if he could kid the construction boss into a state of nerves, so much the better. Dengue was an expert at that.

“And what comes next?” Dengue asked.

“We’re taking down a mountain,” Lerner said.

“Good!” Dengue cried, sitting upright. “That big one? Excellent.” He leaned back and stared dreamily at the ceiling. “That mountain was standing while Man was grubbing in the dirt for insects and scavenging what the saber-tooth left behind. Lord, it’s even older than that!” Dengue laughed happily and sipped his drink. “That mountain overlooked the sea when Man – I refer to our noble species homo sapiens – was a jellyfish, trying to make up its mind between land and sea.”

“All right,” Morrison said, “that’s enough.”

Dengue looked at him shrewdly. “But I’m proud of you, Morrison, I’m proud of all of us. We’ve come a long way since the jellyfish days. What nature took a million years to erect we can tear down in a single day. We can pull that dinky mountain apart and replace it with a concrete and steel city guaranteed to last a century!”

“Shut up,” Morrison said, walking forward, his face glowing. Lerner put a restraining hand on his shoulder. Striking an observer was a good way to lose your ticket.

Dengue finished his drink and intoned sonorously, “Stand aside, Mother Nature! Tremble, ye deep-rooted rocks and hills, murmur with fear, ye immemorial ocean sea, down to your blackest depths where monsters unholy glide in eternal silence! For Great Morrison has come to drain the sea and make of it a placid pond, to level the hills and build upon them twelve-lane super highways, complete with restrooms for trees, picnic tables for shrubs, diners for rocks, gas stations for caves, billboards for mountain streams, and other fanciful substitutions of the demigod Man.”

Morrison arose abruptly and walked out, followed by Lerner. He felt that it would almost be worthwhile to beat Dengue’s face in and give up the whole crummy job. But he wouldn’t do it because that was what Dengue wanted, what he was hired to accomplish.

And, Morrison asked himself, would he be so upset if there weren’t a germ of truth in what Dengue said?

“Those natives are waiting,” Lerner said, catching up with him.

“I don’t want to see them now,” Morrison said. But distantly, from a far rise of hills, he could hear their drums and whistles. Another irritation for his poor men. “All right,” he said.

Three natives were standing at the North Gate beside the camp interpreter. They were of human-related stock, scrawny, naked stone-age savages.

“What do they want?” Morrison asked.

The interpreter said, “Well, Mr. Morrison, boiling it down, they’ve changed their minds. They want their planet back, and they’re willing to return all our presents.”

Morrison sighed. He couldn’t very well explain to them that Work Order 35 wasn’t “their” planet, or anyone’s planet. Land couldn’t be possessed – merely occupied. Necessity was the judge. This planet belonged more truly to the several million Earth settlers who would utilize it, than to the few hundred thousand savages who scurried over its surface. That, at least, was the prevailing philosophy upon Earth.

“Tell them again,” Morrison said, “all about the splendid reservation we’ve set aside for them. We’re going to feed them, clothe them, educate them —”

Dengue came up quietly. “We’re going to astonish them with kindness,” he said. “To every man, a wrist watch, a pair of shoes, and a government seed catalogue. To every woman, a lipstick, a bar of soap, and a set of genuine cotton curtains. For every village, a railroad depot, a company store, and —”

“Now you’re interfering with work,” Morrison said. “And in front of witnesses.”

Dengue knew the rules. “Sorry, old man,” he said, and moved back.

“They say they’ve changed their minds,” the interpreter said. “To render it idiomatically, they say we are to return to our demonland in the sky or they will destroy us with strong magic. The sacred drums are weaving the curse now, and the spirits are gathering.”

Morrison looked at the savages with pity. Something like this happened on every planet with a native population. The same meaningless threats were always made by pre-civilized peoples with an inflated opinion of themselves and no concept at all of the power of technology. He knew primitive humans too well. Great boasters, great killers of the local variety of rabbits and mice. Occasionally fifty of them would gang up on a tired buffalo, tormenting it into exhaustion before they dared approach close enough to torture out its life with pin pricks from their dull spears. And then what a celebration they had! What heroes they thought themselves!

“Tell them to get the hell out of here,” Morrison said. “Tell them if they come near this camp they’ll find some magic that really works.”

The interpreter called after him, “They’re promising big bad trouble in five supernatural categories.”

“Save it for your doctorate,[5 - Save it for your doctorate – Прибереги это для своей диссертации]” Morrison said, and the interpreter grinned cheerfully.

By late afternoon it was time for the destruction of the mountain without a name. Lerner went on a last inspection. Dengue, for once acting like an observer, went down the line jotting down diagrams of the charge pattern. Then everyone retreated. The explosions men crouched in their shelters. Morrison went to Control Point Able.

One by one the section chiefs reported their men in. Weather took its last readings and found conditions satisfactory. The photographer snapped his last “before” pictures.

“Stand by,” Morrison said over the radio, and removed the safety interlocks from the master detonation box.

“Look at the sky,” Lerner murmured.

Morrison glanced up. It was approaching sunset, and black clouds had sprung up from the west, covering an ocher sky. Silence descended on the camp, and even the drums from nearby hills were quiet.

“Ten seconds… five, four, three, two, one – now!” Morrison called, and rammed the plunger home. At that moment, he felt the wind fan his cheek.

Just before the mountain erupted, Morrison clawed at the plunger, instinctively trying to undo the inevitable moment.

Because even before the men started screaming, he knew that the explosion pattern was wrong, terribly wrong.

Afterward, in the solitude of his tent, after the injured men had been carried to the hospital and the dead had been buried, Morrison tried to reconstruct the event. It had been an accident, of course: A sudden shift in wind direction, the unexpected brittleness of rock just under the surface layer, the failure of the dampers, and the criminal stupidity of placing two booster charges where they would do the most harm.

Another in a long series of statistical improbabilities, he told himself, then sat suddenly upright.

For the first time it occurred to him that the accidents might have been helped.

Absurd! But planetary construction was tricky work, with its juggling of massive forces. Accidents happened inevitably. If someone gave them a helping hand, they could become catastrophic.

He stood up and began to pace the narrow length of his tent. Dengue was the obvious suspect. Rivalry between the companies ran high. If Transterran Steel could be shown inept, careless, accident-ridden, she might lose her charter, to the advantage of Dengue’s company, and Dengue himself.

But Dengue seemed too obvious. Anyone could be responsible. Even little Lerner might have his motives. He really could trust no one. Perhaps he should even consider the natives and their magic – which might be unconscious psi manipulation, for all he knew.

He walked to the doorway and looked out on the scores of tents housing his city of workmen. Who was to blame? How could he find out?

From the hills he could hear the faint, clumsy drums of the planet’s former owners. And in front of him, the jagged, ruined, avalanche-swept summit of the mountain without a name was still standing.

He didn’t sleep well that night.

The next day, work went on as usual. The big conveyor trucks lined up, filled with chemicals for the fixation of the nearby swamps. Dengue arrived, trim in khaki slacks and pink officer’s shirt.

“Say, chief,” he said, “I think I’ll go along, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” Morrison said, checking out the trip slips.

“Thanks. I like this sort of operation,” Dengue said, swinging into the lead Trailbreaker beside the chartman. “This sort of operation makes me proud to be a human. We’re reclaiming all wasted swamp land, hundreds of square miles of it, and some day fields of wheat will grow where only bulrushes flourished.”

“You’ve got the chart?” Morrison asked Rivera, the assistant foreman.

“Here it is,” Lerner said, giving it to Rivera.

“Yes,” Dengue mused out loud. “Swamp into wheat fields. A miracle of science. And what a surprise it will be for the denizens of the swamp! Imagine the consternation of several hundred species of fish, the amphibians, water fowl, and beasts of the swamp when they find that their watery paradise has suddenly solidified on them! Literally solidified on them; a hard break. But, of course, excellent fertilizer for the wheat.”

“All right, move out,” Morrison called. Dengue waved gaily as the convoy started. Rivera climbed into a truck. Flynn, the fix foreman, came by in his jeep.

“Wait a minute,” Morrison said. He walked up to the jeep. “I want you to keep an eye on Dengue.”

Flynn looked blank. “Keep an eye on him?”

“That’s right.” Morrison rubbed his hands together uncomfortably. “I’m not making any accusations, understand. But there’s too many accidents on this job. If someone wanted us to look bad —”

Flynn smiled wolfishly. “I’ll watch him, boss. Don’t worry about this operation. Maybe he’ll join his fishes in the wheat fields.”

“No rough stuff,” Morrison warned.

“Of course not. I understand you perfectly, boss.” The fix foreman swung into his jeep and roared to the front of the convoy. The procession of trucks churned dust for half an hour, and then the last of them was gone. Morrison returned to his tent to fill out progress reports.

But he found he was staring at the radio, waiting for Flynn to report. If only Dengue would do something! Nothing big, just enough to prove he was the man. Then Morrison would have every right to take him apart limb by limb.

It was two hours before the radio buzzed, and Morrison banged his knee answering it.

“This is Rivera. We’ve had some trouble, Mr. Morrison.”

“Go on.”

“The lead Trailbreaker must have got off course. Don’t ask me how. I thought the chartman knew where he was going. He’s paid enough.”

“Come on, what happened?” Morrison shouted.

“Must have been going over a thin crust. Once the convoy was on it, the surface cracked. Mud underneath, supersaturated with water. Lost all but six trucks.”

“Flynn?”

“We pontooned a lot of the men out, but Flynn didn’t make it.”

“All right,” Morrison said heavily. “All right. Sit there. I’m sending the amphibians out for you. And listen. Keep hold of Dengue.”

“That’ll be sort of dififcult,” Rivera said.

“Why?”

“Well, you know, he was in that lead Trailbreaker. He never had a chance.”

The men in the work camp were in a sullen, angry mood after their new losses, and badly in need of something tangible to strike at. They beat up a baker because his bread tasted funny, and almost lynched a water-control man because he was found near the big rigs, where he had no legitimate business. But this didn’t satisfy them, and they began to glance toward the native village.

The stone-age savages had built a new settlement near the work camp, a cliff village of seers and warlocks assembled to curse the skyland demons. Their drums pounded day and night, and the men talked of blasting them out, just to shut them up.

Morrison pushed them on. Roads were constructed, and within a week they crumpled. Food seemed to spoil at an alarming rate, and no one would eat the planet’s natural products. During a storm, lightning struck the generator plant, ignoring the lightning rods which Lerner had personally installed. The resulting fire swept half the camp, and when the fire-control team went for water, they found the nearest streams had been mysteriously diverted.

A second attempt was made to blow up the mountain without a name, but this one succeeded only in jarring loose a few freak landslides. Five men had been holding an unauthorized beer party on a nearby slope, and they were caught beneath falling rock. After that, the explosions men refused to plant charges on the mountain. And the Earth ofifce called again.

“But just exactly what is wrong, Morrison?” Mr. Shotwell asked.

“I tell you I don’t know,” Morrison said. After a moment, Shotwell asked softly, “Is there any possibility of sabotage?”

“I guess so,” Morrison said. “All this couldn’t be entirely natural. If someone wanted to, they could do a lot of damage – like misguiding a convoy, tampering with charges, lousing up the lightning rods —”

“Do you suspect anyone?”

“I have over five thousand men here,” Morrison said slowly.

“I know that. Now listen carefully. The board of directors has agreed to grant you extraordinary powers in this emergency. You can do anything you like to get the job done. Lock up half the camp, if you wish. Blow the natives out of the hills, if you think that might help. Take any and all measures. No legal responsibility will devolve upon you. We’re even prepared to pay a sizable bonus. But the job must be completed.”

“I know,” Morrison said.

“Yes, but you don’t know how important Work Order 35 is. In strictest confidence, the company has received a number of setbacks elsewhere. There have been loss and damage suits, Acts of God uncovered by our insurance. We’ve sunk too much in this planet to abandon it. You simply must carry it off.”

“I’ll do my best,” Morrison said, and signed off. That afternoon there was an explosion in the fuel dump.

Ten thousand gallons of D-12 were destroyed, and the fuel-dump guard was killed.

“You were pretty lucky,” Morrison said, staring somberly at Lerner.

“I’ll say,” Lerner said, his face still gray and sweat-stained. Quickly he poured himself a drink. “If I had walked through there ten minutes later, I would have been in the soup. That’s too close for comfort.”

“Pretty lucky,” Morrison said thoughtfully.

“Do you know,” Lerner said, “I think the ground was hot when I walked past the dump? It didn’t strike me until now. Could there be some sort of volcanic activity under the surface?”

“No,” Morrison said. “Our geologists have charted every inch of this area. We’re perched on solid granite.”

“Hmm,” Lerner said. “Morrie, I believe you should wipe out the natives.”

“Why do that?”

“They’re the only really uncontrolled factor. Everyone in the camp is watching everyone else. It must be the natives! Psi ability has been proved, you know, and it’s been shown more prevalent in primitives.”

Morrison nodded. “Then you would say that the explosion was caused by poltergeist activity?”

Lerner frowned, watching Morrison’s face. “Why not? It’s worth looking into.”

“And if they can polter,” Morrison went on, “they can do anything else, can’t they? Direct an explosion, lead a convoy astray —[6 - lead a convoy astray – сбить конвой с пути]”

“I suppose they can, granting the hypothesis.”

“Then what are they fooling around for?” Morrison asked. “If they can do all that, they could blow us off this planet without any trouble.”

“They might have certain limitations,” Lerner said.

“Nuts. Too complicated a theory. It’s much simpler to assume that someone here doesn’t want the job completed. Maybe he’s been offered a million dollars by a rival company. Maybe he’s a crank. But he’d have to be someone who gets around. Someone who checks blast patterns, charts courses, directs work parties —”

“Now just a minute! If you’re implying —”

“I’m not implying a thing,” Morrison said. “And if I’m doing you an injustice, I’m sorry.” He stepped outside the tent and called two workmen. “Lock him up somewhere, and make sure he stays locked up.”

“You’re exceeding your authority,” Lerner said.

“Sure.”

“And you’re wrong. You’re wrong about me, Morrie.”

“In that case, I’m sorry.” He motioned to the men, and they led Lerner out.

Two days later the avalanches began. The geologists didn’t know why. They theorized that repeated demolition might have caused deep flaws in the bedrock, the flaws expanded, and – well, it was anybody’s guess.

Morrison tried grimly to push the work ahead, but the men were beginning to get out of hand. Some of them were babbling about flying objects, fiery hands in the sky, talking animals and sentient machines. They drew a lot of listeners. It was unsafe to walk around the camp after dark. Self-appointed guards shot at anything that moved, and quite a number of things that didn’t.

Morrison was not particularly surprised when, late one night, he found the work camp deserted. He had expected the men to make a move. He sat back in his tent and waited.

After a while Rivera came in and sat down. “Gonna be some trouble,” he said, lighting a cigarette.

“Whose trouble?”

“The natives. The boys are going up to that village.”

Morrison nodded. “What started them?”

Rivera leaned back and exhaled smoke. “You know this crazy Charlie? The guy who’s always praying? Well, he swore he saw one of those natives standing beside his tent. He said the native said, �You die, all of you Earthmen die.’ And then the native disappeared.”

“In a cloud of smoke?” Morrison asked.

“Yeah,” Rivera said, grinning. “I think there was a cloud of smoke in it.”

Morrison remembered the man. A perfect hysteric type. A classic case, whose devil spoke conveniently in his own language, and from somewhere near enough to be destroyed.

“Tell me,” Morrison asked, “are they going up there to destroy witches? Or psi supermen?”

Rivera thought it over for a while, then said, “Well, Mr. Morrison, I’d say they don’t much care.”

In the distance they heard a loud, reverberating boom.

“Did they take explosives?” Morrison asked.

“Don’t know. I suppose they did.”

It was ridiculous, he thought. Pure mob behavior. Dengue would grin and say: When in doubt, always kill the shadows. Can’t tell what they’re up to.

But Morrison found that he was glad his men had made the move. Latent psi powers… You could never tell.

Half an hour later, the first men straggled in, walking slowly, not talking to each other.

“Well?” Morrison asked. “Did you get them all?”

“No sir,” a man said. “We didn’t even get near them.”

“What happened?” Morrison asked, feeling a touch of panic.

More of his men arrived. They stood silently, not looking at each other.

“What happened?” Morrison shouted.

“We didn’t even get near them,” a man said. “We got about halfway there. Then there was another landslide.”

“Were any of you hurt?”

“No sir. It didn’t come near us. But it buried their village.”

“That’s bad,” Morrison said softly.

“Yes sir.” The men stood in quiet groups, looking at him.

“What do we do now, sir?”

Morrison shut his eyes tightly for a moment, then said, “Get back to your tents and stand by.”

They melted into the darkness. Rivera looked questioningly at him. Morrison said, “Bring Lerner here.” As soon as Rivera left, he turned to the radio, and began to draw in his outposts.

He had a suspicion that something was coming, so the tornado that burst over the camp half an hour later didn’t take him completely by surprise. He was able to get most of his men into the ships before their tents blew away.

Lerner pushed his way into Morrison’s temporary headquarters in the radio room of the flagship. “What’s up?” he asked.

“I’ll tell you what’s up,” Morrison said. “A range of dead volcanoes ten miles from here are erupting. The weather station reports a tidal wave coming that’ll flood half this continent. We shouldn’t have earthquakes here, but I suppose you felt the first tremor. And that’s only the beginning.”

“But what is it?” Lerner asked. “What’s doing it?”

“Haven’t you got Earth yet?” Morrison asked the radio operator.

“Still trying.”

Rivera burst in. “Just two more sections to go,” he reported.

“When everyone’s on a ship, let me know.”

“What’s going on?” Lerner screamed. “Is this my fault too?”

“I’m sorry about that,” Morrison said.

“Got something,” the radioman said. “Hold on…”

“Morrison!” Lerner screamed. “Tell me!”

“I don’t know how to explain it,” Morrison said. “It’s too big for me. But Dengue could tell you.”

Morrison closed his eyes and imagined Dengue standing in front of him. Dengue was smiling disdainfully, and saying, “Read here the saga of the jellyfish that dreamed it was a god. Upon rising from the ocean beach, the super-jellyfish which called itself Man decided that, because of its convoluted gray brain, it was the superior of all. And having thus decided, the jellyfish slew the fish of the sea and the beasts of the field, slew them prodigiously, to the complete disregard of nature’s intent. And then the jellyfish bored holes in the mountains and pressed heavy cities upon the groaning earth, and hid the green grass under a concrete apron. And then, increasing in numbers past all reason, the spaceborn jellyfish went to other worlds, and there he did destroy mountains, build up plains, shift whole forests, redirect rivers, melt ice caps, mold continents, dig new seas, and in these and other ways did deface the great planets which, next to the stars, are nature’s noblest work. Now nature is old and slow, but very sure. So inevitably there came a time when nature had enough of the presumptuous jellyfish, and his pretension to godhood. And therefore, the time came when a great planet whose skin he pierced rejected him, cast him out, spit him forth. That was the day the jellyfish found, to his amazement, that he had lived all his days in the sufferance of powers past his conception, upon an exact par with the creatures of plain and swamp, no worse than the flowers, no better than the weeds, and that it made no difference to the universe whether he lived or died, and all his vaunted record of works done was no more than the tracks an insect leaves in the sand.”

“What is it?” Lerner begged.

“I think the planet didn’t want us any more,” Morrison said. “I think it had enough.”

“I got Earth!” the radio operator called. “Go ahead, Morrie.”

“Shotwell? Listen, we can’t stick it out,” Morrison said into the receiver. “I’m getting my men out of here while there’s still time. I can’t explain it to you now – I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to —”

“The planet can’t be used at all?” Shotwell asked.

“No. Not a chance. Sir, I hope this doesn’t jeopardize the firm’s standing —”

“Oh, to hell with the firm’s standing,” Mr. Shotwell said. “It’s just that – you don’t know what’s been going on here, Morrison. You know our Gobi project? In ruins, every bit of it. And it’s not just us. I don’t know, I just don’t know. You’ll have to excuse me, I’m not speaking coherently, but ever since Australia sank —”

“What?”

“Yes, sank, sank I tell you. Perhaps we should have suspected something with the hurricanes. But then the earthquakes – but we just don’t know any more.”

“But Mars? Venus? Alpha Centauri?”

“The same everywhere. But we can’t be through, can we, Morrison? I mean, Mankind —”

“Hello, hello,” Morrison called: “What happened?” he asked the operator.

“They conked out,” the operator said. “I’ll try again.”

“Don’t bother,” Morrison said. Just then Rivera dashed in.

“Got every last man on board,” he said. “The ports are sealed. We’re all set to go, Mr. Morrison.”

They were all looking at him. Morrison slumped back in his chair and grinned helplessly.

“We’re all set,” he said. “But where shall we go?”




The Accountant


Mr. Dee was seated in the big armchair, his belt loosened, the evening papers strewn around his knees. Peacefully he smoked his pipe, and considered how wonderful the world was. Today he had sold two amulets and a philter; his wife was bustling around the kitchen, preparing a delicious meal; and his pipe was drawing well. With a sigh of contentment, Mr. Dee yawned and stretched.

Morton, his nine-year-old son, hurried across the living-room, laden down with books.

“How’d school go today?” Mr. Dee called.

“O.K.,” the boy said, slowing down, but still moving toward his room.

“What have you got there?” Mr. Dee asked, gesturing at his son’s tall pile of books.

“Just some more accounting stuff,” Morton said, not looking at his father. He hurried into his room.

Mr. Dee shook his head. Somewhere, the lad had picked up the notion that he wanted to be an accountant. An accountant! True, Morton was quick with figures; but he would have to forget this nonsense. Bigger things were in store for him.

The doorbell rang.

Mr. Dee tightened his belt, hastily stuffed in his shirt and opened the front door. There stood Miss Greeb, his son’s fourth-grade teacher.

“Come in, Miss Greeb,” said Dee. “Can I offer you something?”

“I have no time,” said Miss Greeb. She stood in the doorway, her arms akimbo. With her gray, tangled hair, her thin, long-nosed face and red runny eyes, she looked exactly like a witch. And this was as it should be, for Miss Greeb was a witch.

“I’ve come to speak to you about your son,” she said.

At this moment Mrs. Dee hurried out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron.

“I hope he hasn’t been naughty,” Mrs. Dee said anxiously.

Miss Greeb sniffed ominously. “Today I gave the yearly tests. Your son failed miserably.”

“Oh dear,” Mrs. Dee said. “It’s Spring. Perhaps —”

“Spring has nothing to do with it,” said Miss Greeb. “Last week I assigned the Greater Spells of Cordus, section one. You know how easy they are. He didn’t learn a single one.”

“Hm,” said Mr. Dee succinctly.

“In Biology, he doesn’t have the slightest notion which are the basic conjuring herbs. Not the slightest.”

“This is unthinkable,” said Mr. Dee.

Miss Greeb laughed sourly. “Moreover, he has forgotten all the Secret Alphabet which he learned in third grade. He has forgotten the Protective Formula, forgotten the names of the 99 lesser imps of the Third Circle, forgotten what little he knew of the Geography of Greater Hell. And what’s more, he doesn’t want to learn.”

Mr. and Mrs. Dee looked at each other silently. This was very serious indeed. A certain amount of boyish inattentiveness was allowable; encouraged, even, for it showed spirit. But a child had to learn the basics, if he ever hoped to become a full-fledged wizard.

“I can tell you right here and now,” said Miss Greeb, “if this were the old days, I’d flunk him without another thought. But there are so few of us left.”

Mr. Dee nodded sadly. Witchcraft had been steadily declining over the centuries. The old families died out, or were snatched by demoniac forces, or became scientists. And the fickle public showed no interest whatsoever in the charms and enchantments of ancient days.

Now, only a scattered handful possessed the Old Lore, guarding it, teaching it in places like Miss Greeb’s private school for the children of wizards. It was a heritage, a sacred trust.

“It’s this accounting nonsense,” said Miss Greeb. “I don’t know where he got the notion.” She stared accusingly at Dee. “And I don’t know why it wasn’t nipped in the bud.[7 - why it wasn’t nipped in the bud – почему это не было пресечено в корне, подавлено в зародыше]” Mr. Dee felt his cheeks grow hot.

“But I do know this. As long as Morton has that on his mind, he can’t give his attention to Thaumaturgy.”

Mr. Dee looked away from the witch’s red eyes. It was his fault. He should never have brought home that toy adding machine. And when he first saw Morton playing at double-entry bookkeeping, he should have burned the ledger. But how could he know it would grow into an obsession? Mrs. Dee smoothed out her apron, and said, “Miss Greeb, you know you have our complete confidence. What would you suggest?”

“All I can do I have done,” said Miss Greeb. “The only remaining thing is to call up Boarbas, the Demon of Children. And that, naturally, is up to you.”

“Oh, I don’t think it’s that serious yet,” Mr. Dee said quickly. “Calling up Boarbas is a serious measure.”

“As I said, that’s up to you,” Miss Greeb said. “Call Boarbas or not, as you see fit. As things stand now, your son will never be a wizard.” She turned and started to leave.

“Won’t you stay for a cup of tea?” Mrs. Dee asked hastily.

“No, I must attend a Witch’s Coven in Cincinnati,” said Miss Greeb, and vanished in a puff of orange smoke.

Mr. Dee fanned the smoke with his hands and closed the door. “Phew,” he said. “You’d think she’d use a perfumed brand.”

“She’s old-fashioned,” Mrs. Dee murmured. They stood beside the door in silence. Mr. Dee was just beginning to feel the shock. It was hard to believe that his son, his own flesh and blood, didn’t want to carry on the family tradition. It couldn’t be true!

“After dinner,” Dee said, finally, “I’ll have a man-to-man talk with him. I’m sure we won’t need any demoniac intervention.”

“Good,” Mrs. Dee said. “I’m sure you can make the boy understand.” She smiled, and Dee caught a glimpse of the old witch-light flickering behind her eyes.

“My roast!” Mrs. Dee gasped suddenly, the witch-light dying. She hurried back to her kitchen.

Dinner was a quiet meal. Morton knew that Miss Greeb had been there, and he ate in guilty silence, glancing occasionally at his father. Mr. Dee sliced and served the roast, frowning deeply. Mrs. Dee didn’t even attempt any small talk.

After bolting his dessert, the boy hurried to his room.

“Now we’ll see,” Mr. Dee said to his wife. He finished the last of his coffee, wiped his mouth and stood up. “I am going to reason with him now. Where is my Amulet of Persuasion?”

Mrs. Dee thought deeply for a moment. Then she walked across the room to the bookcase. “Here it is,” she said, lifting it from the pages of a brightly jacketed novel[8 - a brightly jacketed novel – роман с яркой обложкой]. “I was using it as a marker.”

Mr. Dee slipped the amulet into his pocket, took a deep breath, and entered his son’s room.

Morton was seated at his desk. In front of him was a notebook, scribbled with figures and tiny, precise notations. On his desk were six carefully sharpened pencils, a soap eraser, an abacus and a toy adding machine. His books hung precariously over the edge of the desk; there was Money, by Rimraamer, Bank Accounting Practice, by Johnson and Calhoun, Ellman’s Studies for the CPA[9 - CPA = certified public accountant – дипломированный бухгалтер; высшая бухгалтерская квалификация в США, для ее получения необходимо сдать соответствующие экзамены; дипломированный бухгалтер имеет право выступать в качестве независимого аудитора, бухгалтера-ревизора], and a dozen others.

Mr. Dee pushed aside a mound of clothes and made room for himself on the bed. “How’s it going, son?” he asked, in his kindest voice.

“Fine, Dad,” Morton answered eagerly. “I’m up to chapter four in Basic Accounting, and I answered all the questions —”

“Son,” Dee broke in, speaking very softly, “how about your regular homework?”

Morton looked uncomfortable and scuffed his feet on the floor.

“You know, not many boys have a chance to become wizards in this day and age.”

“Yes sir, I know,” Morton looked away abruptly. In a high, nervous voice he said, “But Dad, I want to be an accountant. I really do, Dad.”

Mr. Dee shook his head. “Morton, there’s always been a wizard in our family. For eighteen hundred years, the Dees have been famous in supernatural circles.”

Morton continued to look out the window and scuff his feet.

“You wouldn’t want to disappoint me, would you, son?” Dee smiled sadly. “You know, anyone can be an accountant. But only a chosen few can master the Black Arts.”

Morton turned away from the window. He picked up a pencil, inspected the point, and began to turn it slowly in his fingers.

“How about it, boy? Won’t you work harder for Miss Greeb?”

Morton shook his head. “I want to be an accountant.” Mr. Dee contained his sudden rush of anger with diffifculty. What was wrong with the Amulet of Persuasion? Could the spell have run down?[10 - Could the spell have run down? – Может, заклинание потеряло силу?] He should have recharged it. Nevertheless, he went on.

“Morton,” he said in a husky voice, “I’m only a Third Degree Adept, you know. My parents were very poor. They couldn’t send me to The University.”

“I know,” the boy said in a whisper.

“I want you to have all the things I never had. Morton, you can be a First Degree Adept.” He shook his head wistfully. “It’ll be diffifcult. But your mother and I have a little put away[11 - But your mother and I have a little put away – Мы с мамой сумели кое-что отложить], and we’ll scrape the rest together somehow.”

Morton was biting his lip and turning the pencil rapidly in his fingers.

“How about it, son? You know, as a First Degree Adept, you won’t have to work in a store. You can be a Direct Agent of The Black One. A Direct Agent! What do you say, boy?”

For a moment, Dee thought his son was moved. Morton’s lips were parted, and there was a suspicious brightness in his eyes. But then the boy glanced at his accounting books, his little abacus, his toy adding machine.

“I’m going to be an accountant,” he said.

“We’ll see!” Mr. Dee shouted, all patience gone. “You will not be an accountant, young man. You will be a wizard. It was good enough for the rest of your family, and by all that’s damnable, it’ll be good enough for you. You haven’t heard the last of this, young man.” And he stormed out of the room.

Immediately, Morton returned to his accounting books.

Mr. and Mrs. Dee sat together on the couch, not talking. Mrs. Dee was busily knitting a wind-cord, but her mind wasn’t on it. Mr. Dee stared moodily at a worn spot on the living-room rug.

Finally, Dee said, “I’ve spoiled him. Boarbas is the only solution.”

“Oh, no,” Mrs. Dee said hastily. “He’s so young.”

“Do you want your son to be an accountant?” Mr. Dee asked bitterly. “Do you want him to grow up scribbling with figures instead of doing The Black One’s important work?”

“Of course not,” said Mrs. Dee. “But Boarbas —”

“I know. I feel like a murderer already.”

They thought for a few moments. Then Mrs. Dee said, “Perhaps his grandfather can do something. He was always fond of the boy.”

“Perhaps he can,” Mr. Dee said thoughtfully. “But I don’t know if we should disturb him. After all, the old gentleman has been dead for three years.”

“I know,” Mrs. Dee said, undoing an incorrect knot in the wind-cord. “But it’s either that or Boarbas.”

Mr. Dee agreed. Unsettling as it would be to Morton’s grandfather, Boarbas was infinitely worse. Immediately, Dee made preparations for calling up his dead father.

He gathered together the henbane, the ground unicorn’s horn, the hemlock, together with a morsel of dragon’s tooth. These he placed on the rug.

“Where’s my wand?” he asked his wife.

“I put it in the bag with your golfsticks,” she told him.

Mr. Dee got his wand and waved it over the ingredients. He muttered the three words of The Unbinding, and called out his father’s name.

Immediately a wisp of smoke arose from the rug.

“Hello, Grandpa Dee,” Mrs. Dee said.

“Dad, I’m sorry to disturb you,” Mr. Dee said. “But my son – your grandson – refuses to become a wizard. He wants to be an – accountant.”

The wisp of smoke trembled, then straightened out and described a character of the Old Language.

“Yes,” Mr. Dee said. “We tried persuasion. The boy is adamant.”

Again the smoke trembled, and formed another character.

“I suppose that’s best,” Mr. Dee said. “If you frighten him out of his wits once and for all, he’ll forget this accounting nonsense. It’s cruel – but it’s better than Boarbas.”

The wisp of smoke nodded, and streamed toward the boy’s room. Mr. and Mrs. Dee sat down on the couch.

The door of Morton’s room was slammed open, as though by a gigantic wind. Morton looked up, frowned, and returned to his books.

The wisp of smoke turned into a winged lion with the tail of a shark. It roared hideously, crouched, snarled, and gathered itself for a spring.

Morton glanced at it, raised both eyebrows, and proceeded to jot down a column of figures.

The lion changed into a three-headed lizard, its flanks reeking horribly of blood. Breathing gusts of fire, the lizard advanced on the boy.

Morton finished adding the column of figures, checked the result on his abacus, and looked at the lizard.

With a screech, the lizard changed into a giant gibbering bat. It fluttered around the boy’s head, moaning and gibbering. Morton grinned, and turned back to his books. Mr. Dee was unable to stand it any longer. “Damn it,” he shouted, “aren’t you scared?”

“Why should I be?” Morton asked. “It’s only grandpa.” Upon the word, the bat dissolved into a plume of smoke. It nodded sadly to Mr. Dee, bowed to Mrs. Dee, and vanished.

“Good-bye, Grandpa,” Morton called. He got up and closed his door.

“That does it,” Mr. Dee said. “The boy is too cocksure of himself. We must call up Boarbas.”

“No!” his wife said.

“What, then?”

“I just don’t know any more,” Mrs. Dee said, on the verge of tears. “You know what Boarbas does to children. They’re never the same afterwards.”

Mr. Dee’s face was hard as granite. “I know. It can’t be helped.”

“He’s so young!” Mrs. Dee wailed. “It – it will be traumatic!”

“If so, we will use all the resources of modern psychology to heal him,” Mr. Dee said soothingly. “He will have the best psychoanalysts money can buy. But the boy must be a wizard!”

“Go ahead then,” Mrs. Dee said, crying openly. “But please don’t ask me to assist you.”

How like a woman, Dee thought. Always turning into jelly at the moment when firmness was indicated. With a heavy heart, he made the preparations for calling up Boarbas, Demon of Children.

First came the intricate sketching of the pentagon, the twelve-pointed star within it, and the endless spiral within that. Then came the herbs and essences; expensive items, but absolutely necessary for the conjuring. Then came the inscribing of the Protective Spell, so that Boarbas might not break loose and destroy them all. Then came the three drops of hippogriff blood —

“Where is my hippogriff blood?” Mr. Dee asked, rummaging through the living-room cabinet.

“In the kitchen, in the aspirin bottle,” Mrs. Dee said, wiping her eyes.

Dee found it, and then all was in readiness. He lighted the black candles and chanted the Unlocking Spell.

The room was suddenly very warm, and there remained only the Naming of the Name.

“Morton,” Mr. Dee called. “Come here.”

Morton opened the door and stepped out, holding one of his accounting books tightly, looking very young and defenceless.

“Morton, I am about to call up the Demon of Children. Don’t make me do it, Morton.”

The boy turned pale and shrank back against the door. But stubbornly he shook his head.

“Very well,” Mr. Dee said. “BOARBAS!”

There was an ear-splitting clap of thunder and a wave of heat, and Boarbas appeared, as tall as the ceiling, chuckling evilly.

“Ah!” cried Boarbas, in a voice that shook the room. “A little boy.”

Morton gaped, his jaw open and eyes bulging.

“A naughty little boy,” Boarbas said, and laughed. The demon marched forward, shaking the house with every stride.

“Send him away!” Mrs. Dee cried.

“I can’t,” Dee said, his voice breaking. “I can’t do anything until he’s finished.”

The demon’s great horned hands reached for Morton; but quickly the boy opened the accounting book. “Save me!” he screamed.

In that instant, a tall, terribly thin old man appeared, covered with worn pen points and ledger sheets, his eyes two empty zeroes.

“Zico Pico Reel!” chanted Boarbas, turning to grapple with the newcomer. But the thin old man laughed, and said, “A contract of a corporation which is ultra vires is not voidable only, but utterly void.[12 - A contract of a corporation which is ultra vires is not voidable only, but utterly void – Контракт, заключенный с превышением полномочий, может быть не только оспорен, но и аннулирован как недействительный.]”

At these words, Boarbas was flung back, breaking a chair as he fell. He scrambled to his feet, his skin glowing red-hot with rage, and intoned the Demoniac Master-Spell: “Vrat, hat, ho!”

But the thin old man shielded Morton with his body, and cried the words of Dissolution. “Expiration, Repeal, Occurrence, Surrender, Abandonment and Death!”

Boarbas squeaked in agony. Hastily he backed away, fumbling in the air until he found The Opening. He jumped through this, and was gone.

The tall, thin old man turned to Mr. and Mrs. Dee, cowering in a corner of the living-room, and said, “Know that I am The Accountant. And Know, Moreover, that this Child has signed a Compact with Me, to enter My Apprenticeship and be My Servant. And in return for Services Rendered, I, the accountant, am teaching him the Damnation of Souls, by means of ensnaring them in a cursed web of Figures, Forms, Torts and Reprisals. And behold, this is My Mark upon him!” The Accountant held up Morton’s right hand, and showed the ink smudge on the third finger.

He turned to Morton, and in a softer voice said, “Tomorrow, lad, we will consider some aspects of Income Tax Evasion as a Path to Damnation.”

“Yes sir,” Morton said eagerly.

And with another sharp look at the Dees, The Accountant vanished.

For long seconds there was silence. Then Dee turned to his wife.

“Well,” Dee said, “if the boy wants to be an accountant that badly, I’m sure I’m not going to stand in his way.”




Hunting Problem


It was the last troop meeting before the big Scouter Jamboree, and all the patrols had turned out. Patrol 22 – the Soaring Falcon Patrol – was camped in a shady hollow, holding a tentacle pull. The Brave Bison Patrol, number 31, was moving around a little stream. The Bisons were practicing their skill at drinking liquids, and laughing excitedly at the odd sensation.

And the Charging Mirash Patrol, number 19, was waiting for Scouter Drog, who was late as usual.

Drog hurtled down from the ten-thousand-foot level, went solid, and hastily crawled into the circle of scouters. “Gee,” he said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize what time —”

The Patrol Leader glared at him. “You’re out of uniform, Drog.”

“Sorry, sir,” Drog said, hastily extruding a tentacle he had forgotten.

The others giggled. Drog blushed a dim orange. He wished he were invisible.

But it wouldn’t be proper right now.

“I will open our meeting with the Scouter Creed,” the Patrol Leader said. He cleared his throat. “We, the Young Scouters of planet Elbonai, pledge to perpetuate the skills and virtues of our pioneering ancestors. For that purpose, we Scouters adopt the shape our forebears were born to when they conquered the virgin wilderness of Elbonai. We hereby resolve —”

Scouter Drog adjusted his hearing receptors to amplify the Leader’s soft voice. The Creed always thrilled him. It was hard to believe that his ancestors had once been earthbound. Today the Elbonai were aerial beings, maintaining only the minimum of body, fueling by cosmic radiation at the twenty-thousand-foot level, sensing by direct perception, coming down only for sentimental or sacramental purposes. They had come a long way since the Age of Pioneering. The modern world had begun with the Age of Submolecular Control, which was followed by the present age of Direct Control.

“…honesty and fair play,” the Leader was saying. “And we further resolve to drink liquids, as they did, and to eat solid food, and to increase our skill in their tools and methods.”

The invocation completed, the youngsters scattered around the plain. The Patrol Leader came up to Drog.

“This is the last meeting before the Jamboree,” the Leader said.

“I know,” Drog said.

“And you are the only second-class scouter in the Charging Mirash Patrol. All the others are first-class, or at least Junior Pioneers. What will people think about our patrol?”

Drog squirmed uncomfortably. “It isn’t entirely my fault,” he said. “I know I failed the tests in swimming and bomb making, but those just aren’t my skills. It isn’t fair to expect me to know everything. Even among the pioneers there were specialists. No one was expected to know all —”

“And just what are your skills?” the Leader interrupted.

“Forest and Mountain Lore,” Drog answered eagerly. “Tracking and hunting.”

The Leader studied him for a moment. Then he said slowly, “Drog, how would you like one last chance to make first class, and win an achievement badge as well?”

“I’d do anything!” Drog cried.

“Very well,” the Patrol Leader said. “What is the name of our patrol?”

“The Charging Mirash Patrol.”

“And what is a Mirash?”

“A large and ferocious animal,” Drog answered promptly. “Once they inhabited large parts of Elbonai, and our ancestors fought many savage battles with them. Now they are extinct.”

“Not quite,” the Leader said. “A scouter was exploring the woods five hundred miles north of here, coordinates S-233 by 482-W, and he came upon a pride of three Mirash, all bulls, and therefore huntable. I want you, Drog, to track them down, to stalk them, using Forest and Mountain Lore. Then, utilizing only pioneering tools and methods, I want you to bring back the pelt of one Mirash. Do you think you can do it?”

“I know I can, sir!”

“Go at once,” the Leader said. “We will fasten the pelt to our flagstaff. We will undoubtedly be commended at the Jamboree.”

“Yes, sir!” Drog hastily gathered up his equipment, filled his canteen with liquid, packed a lunch of solid food, and set out.

A few minutes later, he had levitated himself to the general area of S-233 by 482-W. It was a wild and romantic country of jagged rocks and scrubby trees, thick underbrush in the valleys, snow on the peaks. Drog looked around, somewhat troubled.

He had told the Patrol Leader a slight untruth.

The fact of the matter was, he wasn’t particularly skilled in Forest and Mountain Lore, hunting or tracking. He wasn’t particularly skilled in anything except dreaming away long hours among the clouds at the five-thousand-foot level. What if he failed to find a Mirash? What if the Mirash found him first?

But that couldn’t happen, he assured himself. In a pinch, he could always gestibulize. Who would ever know?

In another moment he picked up a faint trace of Mirash scent. And then he saw a slight movement about twenty yards away, near a curious T-shaped formation of rock.

Was it really going to be this easy? How nice! Quietly he adopted an appropriate camouflage and edged forward.


* * *

The mountain trail became steeper, and the sun beat harshly down. Paxton was sweating, even in his air-conditioned coverall. And he was heartily sick of being a good sport.

“Just when are we leaving this place?” he asked.

Herrera slapped him genially on the shoulder. “Don’t you wanna get rich?”

“We’re rich already,” Paxton said.

“But not rich enough,” Herrera told him, his long brown face creasing into a brilliant grin.

Stellman came up, puffing under the weight of his testing equipment. He set it carefully on the path and sat down. “You gentlemen interested in a short breather?” he asked.

“Why not?” Herrera said. “All the time in the world.” He sat down with his back against a T-shaped formation of rock.

Stellman lighted a pipe and Herrera found a cigar in the zippered pocket of his coverall. Paxton watched them for a while. Then he asked, “Well, when are we getting off this planet? Or do we set up permanent residence?”

Herrera just grinned and scratched a light for his cigar.

“Well, how about it?” Paxton shouted.

“Relax, you’re outvoted,” Stellman said. “We formed this company as three equal partners.”

“All using my money,” Paxton said.

“Of course. That’s why we took you in. Herrera had the practical mining experience. I had the theoretical knowledge and a pilot’s license. You had the money.”

“But we’ve got plenty of stuff on board now,” Paxton said. “The storage compartments are completely filled. Why can’t we go to some civilized place now and start spending?”

“Herrera and I don’t have your aristocratic attitude toward wealth,” Stellman said with exaggerated patience. “Herrera and I have the childish desire to fill every nook and cranny[13 - every nook and cranny – все углы и закоулки] with treasure. Gold nuggets in the fuel tanks, emeralds in the flour cans, diamonds a foot deep on deck. And this is just the place for it. All manner of costly baubles are lying around just begging to be picked up. We want to be disgustingly, abysmally rich, Paxton.”

Paxton hadn’t been listening. He was staring intently at a point near the edge of the trail. In a low voice, he said, “That tree just moved.”

Herrera burst into laughter. “Monsters, I suppose,” he sneered.

“Be calm,” Stellman said mournfully. “My boy, I am a middle-aged man, overweight and easily frightened. Do you think I’d stay here if there were the slightest danger?”

“There! It moved again!”

“We surveyed this planet three months ago,” Stellman said. “We found no intelligent beings, no dangerous animals, no poisonous plants, remember? All we found were woods and mountains and gold and lakes and emeralds and rivers and diamonds. If there were something here, wouldn’t it have attacked us long before?”

“I’m telling you I saw it move,” Paxton insisted.

Herrera stood up. “This tree?” he asked Paxton.

“Yes. See, it doesn’t even look like the others. Different texture —”

In a single synchronized movement, Herrera pulled a Mark II blaster from a side holster and fired three charges into the tree. The tree and all underbrush for ten yards around burst into flame and crumpled.

“All gone now,” Herrera said.

Paxton rubbed his jaw. “I heard it scream when you shot it.”

“Sure. But it’s dead now,” Herrera said soothingly. “If anything else moves, you just tell me, I shoot it. Now we find some more little emeralds, huh?”

Paxton and Stellman lifted their packs and followed Herrera up the trail. Stellman said in a low, amused voice, “Direct sort of fellow, isn’t he?”


* * *

Slowly Drog returned to consciousness. The Mirash’s flaming weapon had caught him in camouflage, almost completely unshielded. He still couldn’t understand how it had happened. There had been no premonitory fear-scent, no snorting, no snarling, no warning whatsoever. The Mirash had attacked with blind suddenness, without waiting to see whether he was friend or foe.

At last Drog understood the nature of the beast he was up against.

He waited until the hoofbeats of the three bull Mirash had faded into the distance. Then, painfully, he tried to extrude a visual receptor. Nothing happened. He had a moment of utter panic. If his central nervous system was damaged, this was the end.

He tried again. This time, a piece of rock slid off him, and he was able to reconstruct.

Quickly he performed an internal scansion. He sighed with relief. It had been a close thing. Instinctively he had quondicated at the flash moment and it had saved his life.

He tried to think of another course of action, but the shock of that sudden, vicious, unpremeditated assault had driven all Hunting Lore out of his mind. He found that he had absolutely no desire to encounter the savage Mirash again.

Suppose he returned without the stupid hide? He could tell the Patrol Leader that the Mirash were all females, and therefore unhuntable. A Young Scouter’s word was honored, so no one would question him, or even check up.

But that would never do. How could he even consider it?

Well, he told himself gloomily, he could resign from the Scouters, put an end to the whole ridiculous business; the campfires, the singing, the games, the comradeship…

This would never do, Drog decided, taking himself firmly in hand. He was acting as though the Mirash were antagonists capable of planning against him. But the Mirash were not even intelligent beings. No creature without tentacles had ever developed true intelligence. That was Etlib’s Law, and it had never been disputed.

In a battle between intelligence and instinctive cunning, intelligence always won. It had to. All he had to do was figure out how.

Drog began to track the Mirash again, following their odor. What colonial weapon should he use? A small atomic bomb? No, that would more than likely ruin the hide.

He stopped suddenly and laughed. It was really very simple, when one applied oneself. Why should he come into direct and dangerous contact with the Mirash? The time had come to use his brain, his understanding of animal psychology, his knowledge of Lures and Snares.

Instead of tracking the Mirash, he would go to their den.

And there he would set a trap.

Their temporary camp was in a cave, and by the time they arrived there it was sunset. Every crag and pinnacle of rock threw a precise and sharp-edged shadow. The ship lay five miles below them on the valley floor, its metallic hide glistening red and silver. In their packs were a dozen emeralds, small, but of an excellent color.

At an hour like this, Paxton thought of a small Ohio town, a soda fountain, a girl with bright hair. Herrera smiled to himself, contemplating certain gaudy ways of spending a million dollars before settling down to the serious business of ranching. And Stellman was already phrasing his Ph.D. thesis on extraterrestrial mineral deposits.

They were all in a pleasant, relaxed mood. Paxton had recovered completely from his earlier attack of nerves. Now he wished an alien monster would show up – a green one, by preference – chasing a lovely, scantily clad woman.

“Home again,” Stellman said as they approached the entrance of the cave. “Want beef stew tonight?” It was his turn to cook.

“With onions,” Paxton said, starting into the cave. He jumped back abruptly. “What’s that?”

A few feet from the mouth of the cave was a small roast beef, still steaming hot, four large diamonds, and a bottle of whiskey.

“That’s odd,” Stellman said. “And a trifle unnerving.”

Paxton bent down to examine a diamond. Herrera pulled him back.

“Might be booby-trapped.[14 - Might be booby-trapped. – Может быть заминировано.]”

“There aren’t any wires,” Paxton said.

Herrera stared at the roast beef, the diamonds, the bottle of whiskey. He looked very unhappy.

“I don’t trust this,” he said.

“Maybe there are natives here,” Stellman said. “Very timid ones. This might be their goodwill offering.”

“Sure,” Herrera said. “They sent to Terra for a bottle of Old Space Ranger just for us.”

“What are we going to do?” Paxton asked.

“Stand clear,” Herrera said. “Move ’way back.” He broke off a long branch from a nearby tree and poked gingerly at the diamonds.

“Nothing’s happening,” Paxton said.

The long grass Herrera was standing on whipped tightly around his ankles. The ground beneath him surged, broke into a neat disk fifteen feet in diameter and, trailing root-ends, began to lift itself into the air. Herrera tried to jump free, but the grass held him like a thousand green tentacles.

“Hang on!” Paxton yelled idiotically, rushed forward and grabbed a corner of the rising disk of earth. It dipped steeply, stopped for a moment, and began to rise again. By then Herrera had his knife out, and was slashing the grass around his ankles. Stellman came unfrozen when he saw Paxton rising past his head.

Stellman seized him by the ankles, arresting the flight of the disk once more. Herrera wrenched one foot free and threw himself over the edge. The other ankle was held for a moment, then the tough grass parted under his weight. He dropped headfirst to the ground, at the last moment ducking his head and landing on his shoulders. Paxton let go of the disk and fell, landing on Stellman’s stomach.

The disk of earth, with its cargo of roast beef, whiskey and diamonds, continued to rise until it was out of sight.

The sun had set. Without speaking, the three men entered their cave, blasters drawn. They built a roaring fire at the mouth and moved back into the cave’s interior.

“We’ll guard in shifts tonight,” Herrera said.

Paxton and Stellman nodded.

Herrera said, “I think you’re right, Paxton. We’ve stayed here long enough.”

“Too long,” Paxton said.

Herrera shrugged his shoulders. “As soon as it’s light, we return to the ship and get out of here.”

“If,” Stellman said, “we are able to reach the ship.”

Drog was quite discouraged. With a sinking heart he had watched the premature springing of his trap, the struggle, and the escape of the Mirash. It had been such a splendid Mirash, too. The biggest of the three!

He knew now what he had done wrong. In his eagerness, he had overbaited his trap. Just the minerals would have been suffifcient, for Mirash were notoriously mineral-tropic. But no, he had to improve on pioneer methods, he had to use food stimuli as well. No wonder they had reacted suspiciously, with their senses so overburdened.

Now they were enraged, alert, and decidedly dangerous.

And a thoroughly aroused Mirash was one of the most fearsome sights in the Galaxy.

Drog felt very much alone as Elbonai’s twin moons rose in the western sky. He could see the Mirash campfire blazing in the mouth of their cave. And by direct perception he could see the Mirash crouched within, every sense alert, weapons ready.

Was a Mirash hide really worth all this trouble?

Drog decided that he would much rather be floating at the five-thousand-foot level, sculpturing cloud formations and dreaming. He wanted to sop up radiation instead of eating nasty old solid food. And what use was all this hunting and trapping, anyhow? Worthless skills that his people had outgrown.

For a moment he almost had himself convinced. And then, in a flash of pure perception, he understood what it was all about.

True, the Elbonaians had outgrown their competition, developed past all danger of competition. But the Universe was wide, and capable of many surprises. Who could foresee what would come, what new dangers the race might have to face? And how could they meet them if the hunting instinct was lost?

No, the old ways had to be preserved, to serve as patterns; as reminders that peaceable, intelligent life was an unstable entity in an unfriendly Universe.

He was going to get that Mirash hide, or die trying!

The most important thing was to get them out of that cave. Now his hunting knowledge had returned to him.

Quickly, skillfully, he shaped a Mirash horn.


* * *

“Did you hear that?” Paxton asked.

“I thought I heard something,” Stellman said, and they all listened intently.

The sound came again. It was a voice crying, “Oh, help, help me!”

“It’s a girl!” Paxton jumped to his feet.

“It sounds like a girl,” Stellman said.

“Please, help me,” the girl’s voice wailed. “I can’t hold out much longer. Is there anyone who can help me?”

Blood rushed to Paxton’s face. In a flash he saw her, small, exquisite, standing beside her wrecked sports-spacer (what a foolhardy trip it had been!) with monsters, green and slimy, closing in on her. And then he arrived, a foul alien beast.

Paxton picked up a spare blaster. “I’m going out there,” he said coolly.

“Sit down, you moron!” Herrera ordered.

“But you heard her, didn’t you?”

“That can’t be a girl,” Herrera said. “What would a girl be doing on this planet?”

“I’m going to find out,” Paxton said, brandishing two blasters. “Maybe a spaceliner crashed, or she could have been out joy-riding, and —”

“Siddown!” Herrera yelled.

“He’s right,” Stellman tried to reason with Paxton. “Even if a girl is out there, which I doubt, there’s nothing we can do.”

“Oh, help, help, it’s coming after me!” the girl’s voice screamed.

“Get out of my way,” Paxton said, his voice low and dangerous.

“You’re really going?” Herrera asked incredulously.

“Yes! Are you going to stop me?”

“Go ahead.” Herrera gestured at the entrance of the cave.

“We can’t let him!” Stellman gasped.

“Why not? His funeral,” Herrera said lazily.

“Don’t worry about me,” Paxton said. “I’ll be back in fifteen minutes – with her!” He turned on his heel and started toward the entrance. Herrera leaned forward and, with considerable precision, clubbed Paxton behind the ear with a stick of firewood. Stellman caught him as he fell.

They stretched Paxton out in the rear of the cave and returned to their vigil. The lady in distress moaned and pleaded for the next five hours. Much too long, as Paxton had to agree, even for a movie serial.

A gloomy, rain-splattered daybreak found Drag still camped a hundred yards from the cave. He saw the Mirash emerge in a tight group, weapons ready, eyes watching warily for any movement.

Why had the Mirash horn failed? The Scouter Manual said it was an infallible means of attracting the bull Mirash. But perhaps this wasn’t mating season.

They were moving in the direction of a metallic ovoid which Drog recognized as a primitive spatial conveyance. It was crude, but once inside it the Mirash were safe from him.

He could simply trevest them, and that would end it. But it wouldn’t be very humane. Above all, the ancient Elbonaians had been gentle and merciful, and a Young Scouter tried to be like them. Besides, trevestment wasn’t a true pioneering method.

That left ilitrocy. It was the oldest trick in the book, and he’d have to get close to work it. But he had nothing to lose.

And luckily, climatic conditions were perfect for it.


* * *

It started as a thin ground-mist. But, as the watery sun climbed the gray sky, fog began forming.

Herrera cursed angrily as it grew more dense. “Keep close together now. Of all the luck![15 - Of all the luck! – Как некстати!]”

Soon they were walking with their hands on each others’ shoulders, blasters ready, peering into the impenetrable fog.

“Herrera?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you sure we’re going in the right direction?”

“Sure. I took a compass course before the fog closed in.”

“Suppose your compass is off?”

“Don’t even think about it.”

They walked on, picking their way carefully over the rock-strewn ground.

“I think I see the ship,” Paxton said.

“No, not yet,” Herrera said.

Stellman stumbled over a rock, dropped his blaster, picked it up again and fumbled around for Herrera’s shoulder. He found it and walked on.

“I think we’re almost there,” Herrera said.

“I sure hope so,” Paxton said. “I’ve had enough.”

“Think your girl friend’s waiting for you at the ship?”

“Don’t rub it in.”

“Okay,” Herrera said. “Hey, Stellman, you better grab hold of my shoulder again. No sense getting separated.”

“I am holding your shoulder,” Stellman said.

“You’re not.”

“I am, I tell you!”

“Look, I guess I know if someone’s holding my shoulder or not.”

“Am I holding your shoulder, Paxton?”

“No,” Paxton said.

“That’s bad,” Stellman said, very slowly. “That’s bad, indeed.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m definitely holding someone’s shoulder.”

Herrera yelled, “Get down, get down quick, give me room to shoot!” But it was too late. A sweet-sour odor was in the air. Stellman and Paxton smelled it and collapsed. Herrera ran forward blindly, trying to hold his breath. He stumbled and fell over a rock, tried to get back on his feet —

And everything went black.

The fog lifted suddenly and Drog was standing alone, smiling triumphantly. He pulled out a long-bladed skinning knife and bent over the nearest Mirash.


* * *

The spaceship hurtled toward Terra at a velocity which threatened momentarily to burn out the overdrive. Herrera, hunched over the controls, finally regained his self-control and cut the speed down to normal. His usually tan face was still ashen, and his hands shook on the instruments.

Stellman came in from the bunkroom and flopped wearily in the co-pilot’s seat.

“How’s Paxton?” Herrera asked.

“I dosed him with Drona-3,” Stellman said. “He’s going to be all right.”

“He’s a good kid,” Herrera said.

“It’s just shock, for the most part,” Stellman said. “When he comes to, I’m going to put him to work counting diamonds. Counting diamonds is the best of therapies, I understand.”

Herrera grinned, and his face began to regain its normal color. “I feel like doing a little diamond-counting myself, now that it’s all turned out okay.” Then his long face became serious. “But I ask you, Stellman, who could figure it? I still don’t understand!”


* * *

The Scouter Jamboree was a glorious spectacle. The Soaring Falcon Patrol, number 22, gave a short pantomime showing the clearing of the land on Elbonai. The Brave Bisons, number 31, were in full pioneer dress.

And at the head of Patrol 19, the Charging Mirash Patrol, was Drog, a first-class Scouter now, wearing a glittering achievement badge. He was carrying the Patrol flag – the position of honor – and everyone cheered to see it.

Because waving proudly from the flagpole was the firm, fine-textured, characteristic skin of an adult Mirash, its zippers, tubes, gauges, buttons and holsters flashing merrily in the sunshine.




A Thief in Time


Thomas Eldridge was all alone in his room in Butler Hall when he heard the faint scraping noise behind him. It barely registered on his consciousness. He was studying the Holstead equations, which had caused such a stir a few years ago, with their hint of a non-Relativity universe. They were a disturbing set of symbols, even though their conclusions had been proved quite fallacious.

Still, if one examined them without preconceptions, they seemed to prove something. There was a strange relationship of temporal elements, with interesting force-applications. There was – he heard the noise again and turned his head.

Standing in back of him was a large man dressed in ballooning purple trousers, a little green vest and a porous silver shirt. He was carrying a square black machine with several dials and he looked decidedly unfriendly.

They stared at each other. For a moment, Eldridge thought it was a fraternity prank. He was the youngest associate professor at Carvell Tech, and some student was always handing him a hardboiled egg or a live toad during Hell Week.

But this man was no giggling student. He was at least fifty years old and unmistakably hostile.

“How’d you get in here?” Eldridge demanded. “And what do you want?”

The man raised an eyebrow. “Going to brazen it out, eh?[16 - Going to brazen it out, eh? – Нагло пытаешься выкрутиться, да?]”

“Brazen what out?” Eldridge asked, startled.

“This is Viglin you’re talking to,” the man said. “Viglin. Remember?”

Eldredge tried to remember if there were any insane asylums[17 - insane asylum – психиатрическая больница] near Carvell. This Viglin looked like an escaped lunatic.

“You must have the wrong man,” Eldridge said, wondering if he should call for help.

Viglin shook his head. “You are Thomas Monroe Eldridge,” he said. “Born March 16, 1926, in Darien, Connecticut. Attended the University Heights College, New York University, graduating cum laude[18 - cum laude – (лат.) с отличием (о дипломе)]. Received a fellowship to Carvell last year, in early 1953. Correct so far?”

“All right, so you did a little research on me for some reason. It better be a good one or I call the cops.”

“You always were a cool customer. But the bluff won’t work. I will call the police.”

He pressed a button on the machine. Instantly, two men appeared in the room. They wore lightweight orange and green uniforms, with metallic insignia on the sleeves. Between them they carried a black machine similar to Viglin’s except that it had white stenciling on its top.

“Crime does not pay,” Viglin said. “Arrest that thief!”

For a moment, Eldridge’s pleasant college room, with its Gauguin prints, its untidy piles of books, its untidier hi-fi, and its shaggy little red rug, seemed to spin dizzily around him. He blinked several times, hoping that the whole thing had been induced by eyestrain. Or better yet, perhaps he had been dreaming.

But Viglin was still there, dismayingly substantial.

The two policemen produced a pair of handcuffs and walked forward.

“Wait!” Eldridge shouted, leaning against his desk for support. “What’s this all about?”

“If you insist on formal charges,” Viglin said, “you shall have them.” He cleared his throat. “Thomas Eldridge, in March, 1962, you invented the Eldridge Traveler. Then —”

“Hold on!” Eldridge protested. “It isn’t 1962 yet, in case you didn’t know.”

Viglin looked annoyed. “Don’t quibble. You will invent the Traveler in 1962, if you prefer that phrasing. It’s all a matter of temporal viewpoint.”

It took Eldridge a moment to digest this.

“Do you mean – you are from the future?” he blurted.

One of the policemen nudged the other. “What an act!” he said admiringly.

“Better than a groogly show,” the other agreed, clicking his handcuffs.

“Of course we’re from the future,” Viglin said. “Where else would we be from? In 1962, you did – or will – invent the Eldridge Time Traveler, thus making time travel possible. With it, you journeyed into the first sector of the future, where you were received with highest honors. Then you traveled through the three sectors of Civilized Time, lecturing. You were a hero, Eldridge, an ideal. Little children wanted to grow up to be like you.”

With a husky voice, Viglin continued. “We were deceived. Suddenly and deliberately, you stole a quantity of valuable goods. It was shocking! We had never suspected you of criminal tendencies. When we tried to arrest you, you vanished.”

Viglin paused and rubbed his forehead wearily. “I was your friend, Tom, the first person you met in Sector One. We drank many a bowl of flox together. I arranged your lecture tour. And you robbed me.”

His face hardened. “Take him, officers.”

As the policemen moved forward, Eldridge had a good look at the black machine they shared. Like Viglin’s, it had several dials and a row of push buttons. Stamped in white across the top were the words: Eldridge Time Traveler – property of THE EASKILL POLICE DEPT.

The policeman stopped and turned to Viglin. “You got the extradition papers?”

Viglin searched his pockets. “Don’t seem to have them on me. But you know he’s a thief!”

“Everybody knows that,” the policeman said. “But we got no jurisdiction in a pre-contact sector without extradition papers.”

“Wait here,” Viglin said. “I’ll get them.” He examined his wristwatch carefully, muttered something about a half-hour gap, and pressed a button on the Traveler. Immediately, he was gone.

The two policemen sat down on Eldridge’s couch and proceeded to ogle the Gauguins.

Eldridge tried to think, to plan, to anticipate. Impossible. He could not believe it. He refused to believe it. No one could make him believe —

“Imagine a famous guy like this being a crook,” one of the policemen said.

“All geniuses are crazy,” the other philosophized. “Remember the stuggie dancer who killed the girl? He was a genius, the readies said.”

“Yeah.” The first policeman lighted a cigar and tossed the burned match on Eldridge’s shaggy little red rug.

All right, Eldridge decided, it was true. Under the circumstances, he had to believe. Nor was it so absurd. He had always suspected that he might be a genius.

But what had happened?

In 1962, he would invent a time machine.

Logical enough, since he was a genius.

And he would travel through the three sectors of Civilized Time.

Well, certainly, assuming he had a time machine. If there were three sectors, he would explore them.

He might even explore the uncivilized sectors.

And then, without warning, he became a thief.

No! He could accept everything else, but that was completely out of character. Eldridge was an intensely honest young man, quite above even petty dishonesties. As a student, he had never cheated at exams. As a man, he always paid his true and proper income tax, down to the last penny.

And it went deeper than that. Eldridge had no power drive, no urge for possessions. His desire had always been to settle in some warm, drowsy country, content with his books and music, sunshine, congenial neighbors, the love of a good woman.

So he was accused of theft. Even if he were guilty, what conceivable motive could have prompted the action?

What had happened to him in the future?

“You going to the scrug rally?” one of the cops asked the other.

“Why not? It comes on Malm Sunday, doesn’t it?” They didn’t pare. When Viglin returned, they would handcuff him and drag him to Sector One of the future. He would be sentenced and thrown into a cell.

All for a crime he was going to commit.

He made a swift decision and acted on it quickly.

“I feel faint,” he said, and began to topple out of his chair.

“Look out – he may have a gun!” one of the policemen yelped.

They rushed over to him, leaving their time machine on the couch.

Eldridge scuttled around the other side of the desk and pounced on the machine. Even in his haste, he realized that Sector One would be an unhealthy place for him. So, as the policemen sprinted across the room, he pushed the button marked Sector Two.

Instantly, he was plunged into darkness.

When he opened his eyes, Eldridge found that he was standing ankle-deep in a pool of dirty water. He was in a field, twenty feet from a road. The air was warm and moist. The Time Traveler was clasped tightly under his arm.

He was in Sector Two of the future and it didn’t thrill him a bit.

He walked to the road. On either side of it were terraced fields, filled with the green stalks of rice plants.

Rice? In New York State? Eldridge remembered that in his own time sector, a climatic shift had been detected. It was predicted that someday the temperate zones would be hot, perhaps tropical. This future seemed to prove the theory. He was perspiring already. The ground was damp, as though from a recent rain, and the sky was an intense, unclouded blue. But where were the farmers? Squinting at the sun directly overhead, he had the answer. At siesta, of course.

Looking down the road, he could see buildings half a mile away. He scraped mud from his shoes and started walking. But what would he do when he reached the buildings? How could he discover what had happened to him in Sector One? He couldn’t walk up to someone and say, “Excuse me, sir. I’m from 1954, a year you may have heard about. It seems that in some way or —”

No, that would never do.

He would think of something. Eldridge continued walking, while the sun beat down fiercely upon him. He shifted the Traveler to his other arm, then looked at it closely. Since he was going to invent it – no, already had – he’d better find out how it worked.

On its face were buttons for the first three sectors of Civilized Time. There was a special dial for journeying past Sector Three, into the Uncivilized Sectors. In one corner was a metal plate, which read:



Caution: Allow at least one half-hour between time jumps, to avoid cancelation.


That didn’t tell him much. According to Viglin, it had taken Eldridge eight years – from 1954 to 1962 – to invent the Traveler. He would need more than a few minutes to understand it.

Eldridge reached the buildings and found that he was in a good-sized town. A few people were on the streets, walking slowly under the tropical sun. They were dressed entirely in white. He was pleased to see that styles in Section Two were so conservative that his suit could pass for a rustic version of their dress.

He passed a large adobe building. The sign in front read:



PUBLIC READERY.


A library. Eldridge stopped. Within would undoubtedly be the records of the past few hundred years. There would be an account of his crime – if any – and the circumstances under which he had committed it.

But would he be safe? Were there any circulars out for his arrest? Was there an extradition between Sectors One and Two?

He would have to chance it. Eldridge entered, walked quickly past the thin, gray-faced librarian, and into the stacks.

There was a large section on time, but the most thorough one-volume treatment was a book called Origins of Time Travel by Ricardo Alfredex. The first part told how the young genius Eldridge had, one fateful day in 1954, received the germ of the idea from the controversial Holstead equations. The formula was really absurdly simple – Alfredex quoted the main propositions – but no one ever had realized it before. Eldridge’s genius lay chiefly in perceiving the obvious.

Eldridge frowned at this disparagement. Obvious, was it? He still didn’t understand it. And he was the inventor!

By 1962, the machine had been built. It worked on the very first trial, catapulting its young inventor into what became known as Sector One.

Eldridge looked up and found that a bespectacled girl of nine or so was standing at the end of his row of books, staring at him. She ducked back out of sight. He read on.

The next chapter was entitled “Unparadox of Time.” Eldridge skimmed it rapidly. The author began with the classic paradox of Achilles and the tortoise, and demolished it with integral calculus. Using this as a logical foundation, he went on to the so-called time paradoxes – killing one’s great-great grandfather, meeting oneself, and the like. These held up no better than Zeno’s ancient paradox. Alfredex went on to explain that all temporal paradoxes were the inventions of authors with a gift for confusion.

Eldridge didn’t understand the intricate symbolic logic in this part, which was embarrassing, since he was cited as the leading authority.

The next chapter was called “Fall of the Mighty.” It told how Eldridge had met Viglin, the owner of a large sporting-goods store in Sector One. They became fast friends. The businessman took the shy young genius under his wing. He arranged lecture tours for him. Then —

“I beg your pardon, sir,” someone said. Eldridge looked up. The gray-faced librarian was standing in front of him. Beside her was the bespectacled little girl with a smug grin on her face.

“Yes?” Eldridge asked.

“Time Travelers are not allowed in the Readery,” the librarian said sternly.

That was understandable, Eldridge thought. Travelers could grab an armload of valuable books and disappear. They probably weren’t allowed in banks, either.

The trouble was, he didn’t dare surrender this book.

Eldridge smiled, tapped his ear, and hastily went on reading.

It seemed that the brilliant young Eldridge had allowed Viglin to arrange all his contracts and papers. One day he found, to his surprise, that he had signed over all rights in The Time Traveler to Viglin, for a small monetary consideration. Eldridge brought the case to court. The court found against him. The case was appealed. Penniless and embittered, Eldridge embarked on his career of crime, stealing from Viglin —

“Sir!” the librarian said. “Deaf or not, you must leave at once. Otherwise I will call a guard.”

Eldridge put down the book, muttered, “Tattletale,” to the little girl, and hurried out of the Readery.

Now he knew why Viglin was so eager to arrest him. With the case still pending, Eldridge would be in a very poor position behind bars.

But why had he stolen?

The theft of his invention was an understandable motive, but Eldridge felt certain it was not the right one. Stealing from Viglin would not make him feel any better nor would it right the wrong. His reaction would be either to fight or to withdraw, to retire from the whole mess. Anything except stealing.

Well, he would find out. He would hide in Sector Two, perhaps find work. Bit by bit, he would —

Two men seized his arms from either side. A third took the Traveler away from him. It was done so smoothly that Eldridge was still gasping when one of the men showed a badge.

“Police,” the man said. “You’ll have to come with us, Mr. Eldridge.”

“What for?” Eldridge asked.

“Robbery in Sectors One and Two.”

So he had stolen here, too.

He was taken to the police station and into the small, cluttered ofifce of the captain of police. The captain was a slim, balding, cheerful-faced man. He waved his subordinates out of the room, motioned Eldridge to a chair and gave him a cigarette.

“So you’re Eldridge,” he said.

Eldridge nodded morosely.

“Been reading about you ever since I was a little boy,” the captain said nostalgically. “You were one of my heroes.”

Eldridge guessed the captain to be a good fifteen years his senior, but he didn’t ask about it. After all, he was supposed to be the expert on time paradoxes.

“Always thought you got a rotten deal,” the captain said, toying with a large bronze paperweight. “Still, I couldn’t understand a man like you stealing. For a while, we thought it might have been temporary insanity.”

“Was it?” Eldridge asked hopefully.

“Not a chance. Checked your records. You just haven’t got the potentiality. And that makes it rather dififcult for me. For example, why did you steal those particular items?”

“What items?”

“Don’t you remember?”

“I – I’ve blanked out,” Eldridge said. “Temporary amnesia.”

“Very understandable,” the captain said sympathetically. He handed Eldridge a paper.

“Here’s the list.”



ITEMS STOLEN BY THOMAS MONROE ELDRIDGE

Taken from Viglin’s Sporting Goods Store,

Sector One:

Credits

4 Megacharge Hand Pistols ............10,000

3 Lifebelts, Inflatable....................100

5 Cans, Ollen’s Shark Repellant...........400

Taken from Alfghan’s Specialty Shop,

Sector One:

2 Microflex Sets, World Literature . . . . . . .1,000

5 Teeny-Tom Symphonic Tape Runs .....2,650

Taken from Loorie’s Produce Store,

Sector Two:

4 Dozen Potatoes, White Turtle Brand.......5

9 Packages, Carrot Seeds (Fancy) . . . . . . . . . . . 6

Taken from Manori’s Notions Store,

Sector Two:

5 Dozen Mirrors, Silver-backed (hand-size)....95

Total Value . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14,256


“What does it mean?” the captain asked. “Stealing a million credits outright, I could understand, but why all that junk?”

Eldridge shook his head. He could find nothing meaningful in the list. The megacharge hand pistols sounded useful. But why the mirrors, lifebelts, potatoes and the rest of the things that the captain had properly called junk?

It just didn’t sound like himself. Eldridge began to think of himself as two people. Eldridge I had invented time travel, been victimized, stolen some incomprehensible articles, and vanished. Eldridge II was himself, the person Viglin had found. He had no memory of the first Eldridge. But he had to discover Eldridge I’s motives and/or suffer for his crimes.

“What happened after I stole these things?” Eldridge asked.

“That’s what we’d like to know,” the captain said. “All we know is, you fled into Sector Three with your loot.”

“And then?”

The captain shrugged. “When we applied for extradition, the authorities told us you weren’t there. Not that they’d have given you up. They’re a proud, independent sort, you know. Anyhow, you’d vanished.”

“Vanished? To where?”

“I don’t know. You might have gone into the Uncivilized Sectors that lie beyond Sector Three.”

“What are the Uncivilized Sectors?” Eldridge asked.

“We were hoping you would tell us,” the captain said. “You’re the only man who’s explored beyond Sector Three.”

Damn it, Eldridge thought, he was supposed to be the authority on everything he wanted to know!

“This puts me in a pretty fix,” the captain remarked squinting at his paperweight.

“Why?”

“Well, you’re a thief. The law says I must arrest you. However, I am also aware that you got a very shoddy deal. And I happen to know that you stole only from Viglin and his afifliates in both Sectors. There’s a certain justice to it – unfortunately unrecognized by law.”

Eldridge nodded unhappily.

“It’s my clear duty to arrest you,” the captain said with a deep sigh. “There’s nothing I can do about it, even if I wanted to. You’ll have to stand trial and probably serve a sentence of twenty years or so.”

“What? For stealing rubbish like shark repellant and carrot seed? For stealing junk?”

“We’re pretty rough on time theft,” said the captain. “Temporal offense.”

“I see,” Eldridge said, slumping in his chair.

“Of course,” said the captain thoughtfully, “if you should suddenly turn vicious, knock me over the head with this heavy paperweight, grab my personal Time Traveler – which I keep in the second shelf of that cabinet – and return to your friends in Sector Three, there would really be nothing I could do about it.”

“Huh?”

The captain turned toward the window, leaving his paperweight within Eldridge’s easy reach.

“It’s really terrible,” he commented, “the things one will consider doing for a boyhood hero. But, of course, you’re a law-abiding man. You would never do such a thing and I have psychological reports to prove it.”

“Thanks,” Eldridge said. He lifted the paperweight and tapped the captain lightly over the head. Smiling, the captain slumped behind his desk. Eldridge found the Traveler in the cabinet, and set it for Sector Three. He sighed deeply and pushed the button.

Again he was overcome by darkness.

When he opened his eyes, he was standing on a plain of parched yellow ground. Around him stretched a treeless waste, and a dusty wind blew in his face. Ahead, he could see several brick buildings and a row of tents, built along the side of a dried-out gully. He walked toward them.




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notes


Примечания





1


I’m docking you both a half-day’s wages. – Я вычту у вас из зарплаты за половину смены.




2


specs = specifications – спецификация, технические условия




3


But we’ll roll. – Но мы справимся.




4


Why rub it in? – Зачем постоянно к этому возвращаться?




5


Save it for your doctorate – Прибереги это для своей диссертации




6


lead a convoy astray – сбить конвой с пути




7


why it wasn’t nipped in the bud – почему это не было пресечено в корне, подавлено в зародыше




8


a brightly jacketed novel – роман с яркой обложкой




9


CPA = certified public accountant – дипломированный бухгалтер; высшая бухгалтерская квалификация в США, для ее получения необходимо сдать соответствующие экзамены; дипломированный бухгалтер имеет право выступать в качестве независимого аудитора, бухгалтера-ревизора




10


Could the spell have run down? – Может, заклинание потеряло силу?




11


But your mother and I have a little put away – Мы с мамой сумели кое-что отложить




12


A contract of a corporation which is ultra vires is not voidable only, but utterly void – Контракт, заключенный с превышением полномочий, может быть не только оспорен, но и аннулирован как недействительный.




13


every nook and cranny – все углы и закоулки




14


Might be booby-trapped. – Может быть заминировано.




15


Of all the luck! – Как некстати!




16


Going to brazen it out, eh? – Нагло пытаешься выкрутиться, да?




17


insane asylum – психиатрическая больница




18


cum laude – (лат.) с отличием (о дипломе)



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